Lessons learnt in Kiev
The fog that had settled over my life for many years is finally lifting. But it’s lifting slowly, in waves.
While I have a very clear and strong grasp on my reality, the person that I am, certain things are still coming into focus. And as always, whenever I have a hypothesis I need to test and re-test and test it again when I think I’ve forgotten about it.
I’ve learned to follow my true self, my heart, my soul, my intuition, gut instinct, whatever one may call it. I realize that the highest truth does come from within. It is the connection of the outside to that internal feeling, the one you have had all along and the one that finally makes complete sense. I fully trust in the path I have outlined for myself. These days it is more about finding the inspiration to create something beautiful while enjoying every step of the process.
I’ve also learned that I want to always be independent. In the past I had this idea that there was a saviour who would somehow take away all my troubles and I’ve learned that there is, but that person is me. I’ve always been told that I am fiercely independent, the type of person who “doesn’t take **** from anyone,” but that wasn’t completely true. I had the saviour complex myself, I put up with things because I thought I was helping.
All along, somewhere inside I must have known that it wasn’t true, because I could never take the extra step of committing. Now I know why. That man wasn’t the right one, that job wasn’t the right one, that profession wasn’t the right one, that country wasn’t the right one, that friend wasn’t the right one, that path wasn’t the right one.
Looking back on my former self I still see myself and looking back on my little self I see my true self, but very scared. Looking in the mirror now, I see the person I am going to be and all the steps I need to take, but they’re happy steps, easy steps. And this will last for some time, I just have to keep going.
By:
✘
𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮,
𝓐𝓙☙
